Smash the entire contents of your home with a sledge hammer before going away on holiday. Then any would be burglars who break in will get a taste of their own medicine.
A simple car theft prevention technique can be put to effective use on houses too. Have your house number engraved on your front window. Would-be theives will then think twice before breaking in.
Crooklocks deigned to secure car steering wheels can just as easily be fastened to a toilet seat, thus preventing burglars from using your lavatory.
Convince visitors you are a cat lover by taking a razor blade to your furniture and urinating regularly behind your settee.
If you have a squeaking door, leave the house and walk fifty yards down the street. From this distance it is unlikely you will be able to hear it.
Make your own othopaedic car seat cover by threading conkers onto a string vest.
A tub of margarine, sent via InterFlora, is the perfect romantic gift for a girl who likes making sandwiches.
Shoppers. Take the leg work out of sheopping by simply standing by the supermarket check-out and removing any items you require from other people's trolleys as they approach.
If your brakes fail whilst driving at speed release your bonnet catch. The raised bonnet will provide vital wind resistance and help slow down the vehicle.
